i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
