I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
