I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
