By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
