New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
