My hand turned me down
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
