i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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