Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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