News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
