wat bout pragnant strippers??
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
