My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
