...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
