Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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