Pappa wants mamma naked
if only i could text you this smell
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize