I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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