What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
