just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
