I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
