I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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