Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
