Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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