Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
