She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
