can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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