we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize