im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You have to summon your inner elephant
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
