Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
