he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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