I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
