I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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