Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
