real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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