Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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