i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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