You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
