he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
