And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize