people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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