I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Two words: blizzard sex
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
