First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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