I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
