is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
