it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
