I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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