I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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