we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
