i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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