a search helicopter?!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
