I'm jealous of your bromance
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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