Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
