I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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