I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
