Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
