that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
