Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
