I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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