I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
