when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
