i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
