I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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