She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize