The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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