Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
