We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
