Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
